A double shot from the archives:
Two good-old-boys, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!"
"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.
Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?"
"No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
***
Two heavy drinkers were standing at the bar, downing one beer after another. When they had gotten a little inebriated, one man said to the other, "I bet you one hundred dollars you cannot swallow one hundred coins!"
The second man said, "Bartender! Another round for both of us. And, I got 20 cents back, right? Well, give me the change all in pennies -- and another dollar's worth, besides!!"
After he finished drinking the brew, and drinking the pennies down, he passed out on the floor -- completely unconscious! When the bartender called the ambulance, a local newspaper reporter showed up at the hospital where he was taken. "How is he doing?" the reporter asked.
The Doctors monitoring his situation say, "So far, no change."
