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10 Sep 2011

Doctors of questionable scholarship
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- Dr. Pepper
- Dr. Phil
- Dr. Laura
- Dr. Doctor
- Dr. Dre
- Dr. Love
- Dr. Feelgood
- Dr. Who
- Dr. Evil
- Dr. Octopus
- Dr. Demento
- Dr. Seuss
- Dr. "J" Julius Erving
- Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
- Doogie Howser, M.D.
- Dr. Adam Bricker
- Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
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17 Aug 2010

Rules for choosing a super-hero name
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Old, but I still laugh
1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie Foster.
2. Don't call yourself by someone else's real name: e.g., Mr. Teddy Kennedy, Captain Dean Martin.
3. Choose a name that suggests power, heroism and prowess: e.g., Captain Power, Thunderman, Mr. Invincible, Justiceman.
4. Don't be too modest: e.g., Mr. Pretty Good, Captain So-so, Fairly Incredibleman.
5. But don't labor the point: e.g., Mr. So-Powerful-Don't-Even-Think-About-It-Buddy.
6. Don't choose a name detrimental to your crime fighting image: e.g., Captain Spongecake, Mr. Silly, Yellow Streak, Purple Slippers, Captain Evil
7. Don't choose the name of an existing Superhero unless you have lots of money and enjoy fighting litigation instead of supervillains.
8. It's no use calling yourself Captain Invincible if your only power is control over Hostess Twinkies and you suffer from a congenial hole-in-the-heart condition. It's just asking for trouble.
9. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're not.
10. Don't call yourself the Invisible Boy if you're a girl.
11. Don't call yourself the Invisible Lady if you're a man -- even if you do feel like a woman trapped in a man's body.
12. Don't give away important information in your name, e.g. The Glass Jaw, Captain Vulnerable To Strontium 90.
13. Don't call yourself The Green Avenger if you wear an orange costume.You'll confuse people.
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12 Jul 2010

Household Handyman's Guide
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From the archives:
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch "on"; or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
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6 Apr 2010

For the gift giver, Max Lucado Edition
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Max really has written the perfect book for every occasion:
- When you're aspiring to be a gossip: Tell Me the Secrets
- When you've been caught gossiping: When God Whispers Your Name
- When you've been audited by the IRS: Give it All to Him
- When you've been diagnosed with kidney or gall obstructions: He Still Moves Stones
- When you forgot to make coffee for the rest of your co-workers: Come Thirsty
- When your car has been stolen: Travelling Light
- When you asked the judge to dismiss your case: It's Not About Me
- When your son becomes a woodworker's apprentice: He Chose the Nails
- When the Cowboys play a division rival: Facing Your Giants
- When you're the "on call" minister: Six Hours One Friday
- When your husband cleans the kitchen on April 1, 2010: He Did this Just For You
- When you're Wile E. Coyote: On the Anvil
- When you're deciding between Sugar, Sweet-N-Low, Splenda, or Equal: Living in Your Sweet Spot
- When you're a blackjack dealer at an antisocial disorder fundraiser: Dealing with Difficult People
- When you need encouragement after being picked last for the pick-up game: He Chose You
- When you've been told why your ceiling and walls are cracked: Remembering Our Foundations
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