b-posterous

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      27 Nov 2010

      What is said, what is meant (men's edition)

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      FINE
      Whatever you want to do is okay with him. 

      FIVE MINUTES
      120 seconds.  Unless its during a game...and then you're subject to the rules of the game, the need for replays, and the importance of commercials to be watched or skipped.

      NOTHING
      This means the absence of "something."

      GO AHEAD

      This means, "Proceed as intended."

      LOUD SIGH
      This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often easily by women. A "Loud Sigh" means a man wants attention.

      SOFT SIGH
      Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" also means that a man wants attention. Or he has resigned himself to not getting the attention he seeks.

      THAT'S OKAY
      This means he is content with whatever just happened.

      PLEASE DO
      This is not a statement, it is an offer. A man rarely extends this offer, and usually only when he is 100% smugly certain that the woman will err in her actions.

      THANKS
      A man is thanking you. Just say you're welcome.

      THANKS A LOT
      A man is thanking you.  Extra.

      DUDE
      This word has a hundred different meanings, ranging from positive to negative, from inquiry to exclamation. Context determines meaning, dude.

       

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      19 Oct 2010

      ATM procedures

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      The bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

      After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

      MALE PROCEDURE
      1. Drive up to the cash machine.
      2. Put down your car window.
      3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
      4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
      5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
      6. Put window up.
      7. Drive off.

       

      Wrong_job_-_atm
      FEMALE PROCEDURE
      1. Drive up to cash machine.
      2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
      3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
      4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
      5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
      6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
      7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
      8. Insert card.
      9. Re-insert card the right way.
      10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
      11. Enter PIN.
      12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
      13. Enter amount of cash required.
      14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
      15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
      16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet ! and place cash inside.
      17. Write deposit amount in check register a nd place receipt in back of checkbook.
      18. Re-check makeup.
      19. Drive forward 2 feet.
      20. Reverse back to cash machine.
      21. Retrieve card.
      22. Re-empty hand-bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
      23. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
      24. Redial person on cell phone.
      25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
      26. Release Parking Brake. 

       

      This is a repost from a long-ago post from my friend Melissa Williams.

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      18 Oct 2010

      Things I Wikipedia: Real-life Mad Men

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      Albert Lasker

      Fairfax M. Cone

      Emerson Foote (notactually a Wikipedia link...no wiki entry on him)

      These are the proto Cooper, Sterling, and Draper. Not exact biographic inspirations, but these are three of the early giants in advertising, and their stories are compelling.  Lasker began as an office clerk in 1898. Just 14 years later, he bought the company. When it came time for him to retire, he sold it at a gift price to Cone, Foote, & another gent named Gentry. 

      Cone appears to be the advertising creative (Draper-ish), with an extensive portfolio. Interestingly, it was Foote who served as an inspiration for this season's Draper moment where Don wrote an industry letter all Jerry McGuire-style saying he'd never advertise for Big Tobacco again. Foote actually did it, distancing himself and his agency from Tobacco after their messy divorce from Lucky Strikes!

      These three are #s 9,80, & 83 on Advertising Age's list of 100 Top People of the Century.

      Also interesting to me is that these men were dealing with accounts ranging from $250K To $12M. I just read that their company (now known as Draftfcb) has annual billings of $9.5B, more than 1,100 agents, and more than 100 Fortune 500 businesses as clients. 

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    Erudite gentleman-about-town. With 100% more Jesus since 1992.

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